What the…

So Thing 1 and Thing 2 have had “What the…” down for quite awhile. They also know all the curse words because we all use them. They know they can’t use them at school and we don’t like them using them here at home.

First story: Thing 2 is studying for the next stripe on his belt, next colour, whatever the kids in taekwondo do. Anyway, there’s facts you have to remember, including acronyms. Such as WTF, which is….

……..

…….

World Taekwondo Federation.

Thing 2 was puzzling over it on his written sheet and Thing 1 came over to help him. “It says what the fuck, Thing 2.” “No it doesn’t!” “Yes it does, WTF, what the fuck.”

Good god, these kiddos.

Tonight I discovered that Thing 3 has added a new phrase to his repertoire. “Oh shit.” Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Said rather much like “Oshi” since he’s still not that great at enunciating. Needless to say, I will NOT thank him for his good words (which I do if he clearly tells me what he wants without whining or garbling) if he pops that out at me.

My life, people. The Daddy was also walking around on the half-roof (right below the dormer windows) yesterday. I still have no idea why, but he seemed to be on a mission.

I know, it’s been forever.

Sorry, holidays, travel, depression, nothing happening, depression, you know the drill.

So this just happened, okay. Thing 2 has proudly told The Mommy earlier today that the 1990s are “the olden days” and that there was no electricity then.

Thing 2: *bangs on my door really hard*
Me: THAT IS NOT A KNOCK.
Thing 2: *makes with a better type of knocking*
Me: Yeeeeeeessss?
Thing 2: How did you get to school when you were young?
Me: I drove myself, sweetie. (Hey now. High school is long enough ago.)
Thing 2: But how were there cars?
Me: You’d be surprised. My car out there? Was built in the 1990s.
Thing 2: ….oh.
Me: Yeah, I just broke your brain, didn’t I.
Thing 2: *closes the door and goes hollering off to his parents* SHE SAID THAT HER CAR WAS BUILT IN THE 1990S…

Yes. Yes, the earth was cooling in the 1990s and we all rode dinosaurs. Naturally.

Upon Thing 2

Thing 2 has an amazing mind. The things that go on inside his head are just…wow.

The door is knocked upon, and The Mommy and Thing 2 are standing there.
The Mommy: Go ahead, tell her about the Pilgrims and the Indians.
Thing 2: When the Pilgrims and the Indians met, the Indians wanted to blow them up with dynamite.
Me: Really.
Thing 2: But it didn’t work because all they had was bookshelf dynamite.
Me: I see!

Bookshelf dynamite. I’ll take ten kilos. Because of reasons.